


Last Winter

by buckthegrump



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-19 21:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13132980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckthegrump/pseuds/buckthegrump
Summary: It was a night like another until it wasn't and the events of that night would change everything.





	1. The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Rape is not talked about in every chapter and I will make a note of the chapters it's in

The chains clanked against the chair and the floor, the sound echoing throughout the barren room. The handcuffs that they had put around your wrists were too tight but you didn’t say anything, even if you had they wouldn’t have cared. They had also cuffed your ankles which you thought was over kill, what were you going to do? Run?

You sat there waiting, no one had told you what you were waiting for but the two way mirror gave you a hint. You stared at your reflection, the orange jumpsuit around your body was just another reminder of where you were.

You continued to sit there twiddling your thumbs until the door opened. Two men walked in, one was holding a briefcase and the other just looked tired. They silently took a seat and looked at you.

“Good morning,Detective Barnes and I have been assigned your case.” The one who had been carrying the briefcase spoke.

“Detective Udaku and I are here to talk about your case.” Barnes said, still looking tired.

They sat there looking at you expectedly only to be met with more of your silence.

“Ok,” Udaku glanced to Barnes. “Your case has been reopened, which is unusual after only 10 months so we are investigating new leads.”

More silence.

“Why don’t you tell us what happened from the beginning?” Barnes asked.

“Why everyone already knows what happened.” You finally spoke.

“We want you to tell us your side.” Udaku shifted in his seat.

“Nobody cares about my side that’s why I’m here.” You said flatly.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)-” Udaku was interrupted.

“It’s just (Y/N).”

“Fine, (Y/N) then. Detective Barnes and I are here to question you and this would go a lot faster if you would just cooperate.”

“If you’re here to question me Detective Udaku shouldn’t I have a lawyer present?” You lean forward.

“You don’t need your lawyer we only have a few questions.” You could tell that Barnes was tip toeing around you so he could get this over with.

“Detective Barnes you don’t have to be here you and I both know that the judge or jury or whatever is going to come to the same conclusion as they did 10 months ago and I will be in the same place I am now in fact they might add time onto my sentence.” You shuffle your hand around under the table causing the chains to clank up against the chair again.

“(Y/N) you are more than welcome to wait for your lawyer but I am going to ask you once question. You pleaded not guilty why? I mean you were obviously guilty you confessed to it.” Barnes ask earning a glare from Udaku because even you could tell he was stepping out of line.

“I would like my lawyer.” You sat back in the chair and waited for your lawyer to show up. They sat there for almost an hour with Detective Udaku asking question after question and Detective Barnes just glaring at you and occasionally telling Udaku that it was no use and they should just go because they were never going to get anything out of this ‘common criminal’. Near the end of that hour they got into an argument which was the most entertaining thing you had witnessed today.

“Barnes stop calling her a common criminal that’s not going to help our investigation.” Snapped Udaku.

“There’s nothing to help she’s not going to give us anything and there was no reason for this case to be reopened. It was pretty damn clear the first time.”

“Just because you think you know everything about the case doesn’t mean you do.” Then Udaku whispered something into Barness ear that you didn’t quite get, but it seemed to spark something in him because he instantly turn his frustrations back to you.

“Listen here (Y/L/N) I don’t have time for this, Udaku doesn’t have time for this, and your lawyer probably isn’t coming because he doesn’t want to represent you anymore.” Barnes had a look of absolute rage and if this had happened before you spent 10 months in prison you would have been scared shitless but this didn’t faze you.

“Barnes back off! I am so sorry Ms. (Y/L/N).” Udaku apologized and pushed Barnes out of the room and a guard came in to take you back to your cell.

It was no different the last time. You thought as you were escorted past them. You made eye contact with Barnes walking down the hallway. It was very brief and full of hatred.

/

Later that night you had a dream, a very troubling dream from the night you were arrested. You’d had this dream before, it was more of a memory really everything was the same. The police cars, the ambulances, the people looking around confused at all the commotion, the snow; it was all the same. Except Ana May, in the dream she was standing there looking at you almost like she disappointed in you. But what else were you supposed to do? What else could you have done? You would’ve done it all over again, in fact you would’ve done more.

Maybe she’s not disappointed, you had the same thought every time. Maybe she’s just sad that it had to come to this. Maybe she’s not disappointed in me, there’s a million other things in this situation that she could be disappointed in. Maybe she pitied me, but would that be worse?

You had this thought process because there’s nothing worse than having Ana May disappointed in you especially since she there’s nothing she can do to make it up to her.

You woke woke up in a cold sweat like you had been doing for the past 10 months, but you just laid on the mattress that was flat and gave you barely any shielding from the metal bed frame. You lay there staring at the ceiling listening to the snoring that your roommate was doing. The jealousy was constant, not only of the seemingly sound sleep your roommate got but also the fact that Jamison actually got visitors that wanted to see her and that she actually had a chance of getting out of here. You were jealous of a lot.

But you knew that you had to live with your choices, the choices that cost you your life.


	2. The Phone Call

“Your mother would like to take your case public,” George informed you a few days later. It was in the same room and you kept looking at yourself in the two way mirror, it was the only mirror in the prison that didn’t lie to you, it had the best light to see what you actually looked like. You were focused on the fact that you didn’t look like you had before, you looked skinnier almost ghostly. And you had bags under your eyes from lack of sleep.

“And as your lawyer I think it could help you get pity which could help your case in the long run.” George’s voice called you back to where you were.

“No.” You shake your head. “I don’t even want this case to go to court again much less get the public involved. Do you know what will happen people will find out and hate me because they won’t care about the whole story.”

“You refuse to tell people the whole story.”

“That’s because I know what they’ll say, they’ll say the same thing they say every time and then I’ll start to believe it. Because I am a very easily influenced person. So please just shut the case down.” You begged.

“Your mom would like to see you.”

“She is more than welcome to come visit me.” Your voice went cold.

“You know that it would break her heart to see you like this.”

“How do you think I feel?” You sat at the edge of the chair and leaned over the table. “The only people I’ve seen while I’ve been in here are you and the detectives and only Udaku will treat me like a human. They think I’m some psycho who doesn’t know that what she did was wrong. So forgive me for the first thought not being about how my mother will feel for seeing me in jail because frankly I don’t care.” You sat back and looked at the wall.

“I still think it would be a good idea for you to take it back to court and go public with your story.” George pushed and you just glared at him.

/

You roamed the beige hallways carefully avoiding the gaze of the guards and inmates alike. The guards had always hated you so you tried to give them little reason to target you. For the first few months they targeted you even if they didn’t have a reason, but soon they got bored of you not fighting back. You weren’t a violent person by nature, ironic wasn’t it? That you were in here for a violent crime.

The inmates left you alone for the most part, which was fine until you started to feel lonely and didn’t have any friends. You should make friends if you’re going to be in here for the rest of your life.

You had tried calling your mother and father for months but most of the time they didn’t answer their phones. That wasn’t surprising at all because even before they rarely answered their phones but one would think that if their child was in jail the one they didn’t come to see they would answer their phones when she called. And even though you knew that your mother probably wouldn’t pick up because it was mostly your father who did when you call your mom anyway. And to your surprise she picked up this time.

“(Y/N)?” Your mom’s voice sounded worried but all you cared was that you got to hear her voice.

“Hi mom.” You barely spoke choking back tears.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah everything’s fine I just got done with a meeting with George.”

“Yes, I’ve always liked George. So did he tell you that your case has been reopened and that you might go to court again? Did he also mention that I want to go public with it this time instead of keeping it quiet?…” Your mother asked question after question and just hearing her voice and the hope that filled it made all of your previous anger melt away. So for a while you just let her ramble on, you would ask questions about life back home and soon she started talking gossip. And if you closed your eyes and focused on your mother’s gossip it was almost as if nothing had ever happened you could almost hear Ana May laughing at your facial expressions that you made when your mother launched into yet another story about the neighbor who refused to wear a shirt when he did yard work and how all the girls would come over for tea to stalk him from your dining room window. “So anyways Slutty Seth brought home another girl and then before he could even get that one out of house another girl walks in. And the girls and I have a bet going about whether or not he had a three way or if he’s just an asshole. I’m so glad Hot Sam isn’t like that.”

“Mom you have to stop calling them Slutty Seth and Hot Sam,” you laugh and roll your eyes.

“No I don’t. So have you given it any thought?”

“What?”

“Your case?”

“Not yet mom.”

“Well please think about it. And if you’re worried about what job you’ll get after you get out don’t. Your father and I will take care of you and then you can become a sugar baby or you can marry Hot Sam.” She sighs.

“Or Slutty Seth.”

“Absolutely not. I’m still rooting for you and Oscar though.”

“I don’t think he’s an option any more. I’m pretty sure he hates me everyone hates me.”

“That’s not true he doesn’t hate you, I think he’s just confused. I don’t hate you and his mom could never hate you.”

“I cannot believe you still call him Oscar. He hates that nickname.” You chuckle, you stop laughing after you realize you should no longer speak for him.

“Well he’s constantly down, I don’t get it. Besides you two were very cute together.”

“Can we stop talking about him?” You ask wanting to change the subject

“Ok. Please just think about your case?”

“Yeah ok I will.” You agree even though you know what your answer will be.

“Ooo, Hot James is getting his mail and Slutty Seth is walking over to him to talk to him about something.”

“Maybe they’re in love.”

“Oh hush you, Hot James would never do that to me. Anyways I’ve got to go sweetheart I love you and I’ll talk to you later ok?”

“Ok mom, love you bye.” You say.

“Bye.” And with that she hung up the phone and you stood there for a second trying to hold onto the normalcy you felt while talking to your mother. For just a moment, it crossed your mind that maybe if you did tell everyone what had actually happened that night you would be able to go home and even though it would seem a little weird you could live with your parents until you got back on your feet. Maybe you should open her case back up and go home.

But then all the reasons you hadn’t yet came rushing back, so you would keep it to yourself.


	3. Names

Detective Udaku and Detective Barnes were once again sitting across from you and your lawyer questioning you. They had already been here for a while, you didn’t feel the need to keep track of time because time doesn’t matter when you’re never getting out. Detective Barnes was once again not saying anything and just staring you down. Only today you had woken up in a bad mood because last night you had a good dream for the first time since last winter. And when the guard had woken you up because the detectives were here to talk to you and now you were pissed, so nothing was stopping you from staring back not paying any attention to whatever Detective Udaku and George were talking about. Until finally Detective Barnes got angry, again, and spoke up.

“T’Challa this isn’t working,” he said and leaned over and pulled out a file from his briefcase and starting putting pictures on the table. “Michael Anderson, Jack MIller, and Alec Smith, do you know what all of these boys have in common? They had the unfortunate luck to run into you that day.”

“Please make them leave,” you whispered to George.

“We’re done for today my client would like you to leave.” George sighed disappointed.

“Fine by me.” Barnes said and stormed out of the room. Detective Udaku got up to follow him but stopped at the door

“(Y/N) you’re only making this worse by not talking to us, your case will get thrown out and never opened again.” He spoke looking at you.

“You’re missing names.” Udaku and George gave you a look Udaku was just surprised and George looked concerned.

“What do you mean?” T’Challa took a few steps back into the room.

“Detective Barnes listed off four names of the people that were there that night but he was missing some.” You said so low you thought for a moment that he didn’t hear you.

“Are you saying there are witnesses?” Udaku urged. But you chose that moment to stop talking so the detective left.

“Are you going to tell them or are you trying to add time to your sentence?” George asked.

“I’m not sure yet but even if I was trying to add time to my sentence they’d probably execute me anyway to save the tax payer’s money.”

“Ok, well, figure it out because you’re going to give your mother a heart attack.” George said gathering his paperwork.

George left and you sat there waiting for the guards. You thought you would’ve chosen to just keep quiet but something in the back of your mind was telling you to tell them everything. But you didn’t trust them to try and see your side, especially Barnes.

/

You were noticing a pattern, when your case was brought up you had dreams about that night. Sometimes they were more like memories but most of the time they were just that, dreams.

Like tonight you had another dream in which you got to talk to Ana May, at least that’s what you wanted to call it, it was actually Ana May trying to talk some sense into you.

“Ya know (Y/N) I never took you for an idiot.” Ana May was wearing a long pastel pink dress and she had a glow around her like a halo. You were sitting on a park bench, in the same park where they found you. Ana May was standing in front of you, this kind of felt like being talked to by your mother after you had done something bad.

“Ana May you know that’s not very nice.” You half smile.

“Maybe not but, it’s true. And you’re a bitch too so.” Ana crossed her arms.

“I’m sorry I left you there.”

“I’m not talking about that.” She rolled her eyes. “(Y/N), you need to talk to Barnes and not in riddles ‘You’re missing names’ what kind of bullshit is that?”

“If I tell him he won’t look at me.”

“He barely looks at you now and when he does it’s not a very nice look.”

“But what if he blames me for what happened?” You didn’t have to specify with Ana May after all she was and is your best friend.

“Then you don’t give him the time of day and you won’t have to spend you life wondering ‘what if?’”

“I’m scared Ana.”

“That’s good that means you care.” Ana May took a seat next to you. “Besides is or at least one of your best friends, you told him everything.”

“Let’s talk about something else, like remember back when I was dating that girl Lexie or something and we went to that restaurant on valentine’s day and the waitress was like ‘ahh you too are such great friends taking each other out on Valentine’s Day’ and didn’t even realize we were dating until halfway through the dinner?”

“Yeah I remember you got a free dessert because of it.” You sat there talking and laughing, you laughed for so long you forgot this wasn’t real. You also realized that you hadn’t laughed like that in what felt like years. You missed it, laughing, you especially missed sitting on a park bench with your best friend.

“Why didn’t we ever date?” You asked even though you already knew the answer.

“Because we weren’t made to be in a relationship with each other and then you went and fell in love. How typical. It’s time for me to go.” Ana May told the sky.

“Why? You can stay a bit longer for me.”

“Oh I wish I could but it’s not up to me, if it was I would never leave. You be good now I’ll be watching over you, you can count on that.” And with that Ana May got up and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

“Ana May,” you called out and she turned to you. “No one’s been able to find you, and I don’t remember. Maybe if you tell me maybe I can tell the detectives on my case where you are and you can be laid to rest or something?” You were desperate to have just one more moment with her.

“I’m not actually sure, but I have faith that I’ll be found. My parents they think I’m alive, they deserve to know the truth.” And before you could stop her from walking away someone woke up up to tell you it was breakfast time.

Later that day you were sitting once again into purgatory, which is what you had started to call the questioning room in jail because it wasn’t hell, but it wasn’t heaven either. It was the middle ground and you could see both sides of the coin, so close to the outside world because of the birds that could be seen out the window flying around free but there were bars on the window just to taunt you.

“Detective Udaku will not be joining us today because he has something that he needs to attend to so I will sit here and ask questions which I’m assuming you won’t answer. Is your lawyer going to be here?” Detective Barnes hadn’t looked at you once since you’d been in there.

“No, he has other matters that need his attention but you already knew that. Look I answered your question. Ha!” You smiled and James looked up to glare at you.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) we don’t have time for you games.”

“If I was playing a game I’d be having a lot more fun.” You say slightly amused by how easy it was to get him worked up.

“You’re getting exactly what you deserve.” You were used to Detective Barnes saying things like this, but for some reason it got to you today maybe it was because of the dream last night and the fact that you talked to Ana in in that dream. Whatever the cause, you felt the tears rise up in a ball in your throat and your ears turn red. “So are you going to tell me what you mean by ‘You’re missing names’?”

“Umm,” you knew you shouldn’t have opened your mouth because then you were unable to hold back the tears of rage and you started crying. Barnes froze up and didn’t really know what to do. Usually if someone starts crying Udaku is there to help him but today he was by himself and was completely at a loss for what to do or say.

“Do you need a glass of water or anything?” He tried asking softly but failing miserably and you were still crying and Barnes would swear that you started crying harder on purpose.

“No I’m good, I swear I’m good.” You took a few deep breaths and wiped your eyes. “I’m good sorry, I don’t know what happened usually I can take your shit. Ok lets keep going. What was the question again?”

“What did you mean by missing names?” He asked tentatively.

“The names you listened the last time were of people there that night but there was three more people there and I don’t know how you missed it.”

“Are you going to give me the names?”

“Paul Moore and Tanner I don’t really remember his last name. I think it was Williams,” she told him slowly as he wrote it down. “And Ana May Chavez.”

Barnes stopped writing and looked at you. You hadn’t seen this look before, he was no longer mocking or angry at you.

“Ana May Chavez? Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure James she died in my arms.”


	4. Christmas Eve Eve

“Pacing isn’t going to change anything in fact, you’re making me nervous.” you told Bucky, he had been pacing for the past 5 minutes asking the same questions. ‘Are you sure?’, ‘How come they missed her body?’, and other questions you didn’t really know how to answer.

“Where’s her body then?” He asks sitting back down.

“In the woods behind the house.” You tell him.

“I need more than that! It’s a big forest!” He says through his teeth.

“That’s all I have.” You answer honestly.

“I was her friend too lună,” you almost smiled it had been a long time since he called you lună. He was the only one who called you that, you had forgotten what it sounded like when he did.

“I know,” you nod.

“Oh man we have to find her body, and tell her parents. Did you kill her?”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that.”

“Sorry, but why didn’t you tell anyone?” He was actually speaking to you like a person now which was something you were not going to take for granted.

“I don’t know.”

“How could you not know? Her parents come in like clockwork, it used to be everyday then every week until finally it slowed down to every month and now it’s only once a year and sometimes it’s just a phone call because they know the answer; to find out if we know anything about the whereabouts of their daughter and now we have to tell them that she’s dead and they’re going to blame you, you know this right? And they are going to hate you and they are one of the last people you know who don’t hate you.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” He looked exhausted and exasperated.

“Hate me? My mom doesn’t seem to think so.” You were looking at him with the slightest bit of hope in your eyes. You weren’t sure what you were hoping for, him to say yes so you could get on with you life or him to say no so.

“What do you think?”

“I think you hated me the moment I was brought into the station.”

~

December 23rd, just after 2am.

Detective James Barnes was sitting as his desk talking to his partner T'Challa Udaku. They had both been called in by the captain for some reason. They were just about to go talk to the captain about being woken up in the middle of the night when suddenly people were rushing around and the word homicide was being thrown around and there was talk of the cops bringing someone in for questioning. A few seconds later the doors were pushed open and the last thing Bucky ever expected to happen happened. His best and oldest friend was brought through the doors escorted by police. You were scanning the room looking frightened but once your eyes met his you no longer looked scared. And for a split second you were relaxed and then went rigid again and looked sad. So he ran over to you without a seconds hesitation.

“(Y/N)? What happened? Is that your blood? Are you alright?” It didn’t even cross Bucky’s mind that it was someone else’s blood on you.

“Bucky I’m sorry I don’t know what happened please don’t hate me.”

“Nothing you could do would ever make me hate you.” The police were still dragging you. He didn’t even notice the handcuffs that engulfed your wrists. “Can you guys stop for just a second?”

They didn’t pay attention and took you to one of the interrogation rooms.

“Barnes! Udaku! Get in here.” The captain called from his office. Bucky didn’t want to move all he wanted were answers, but then he figured the best place to get them were from the captain.

“Captain why is (Y/N) here?” T'Challa asked when they got into his office.

“I’m putting you two in there to ask her. Can you handle that?” Captain Rogers eyed Bucky.

“Yes sir,” they answered. And walked into the room where you were sitting scared out of your mind. Slowly what what had happened came back to you. At least you were pretty sure that’s what had happened and you were beginning to think you had done it. There was no one else there who could have done it. A million thoughts were going through your brain and you weren’t sure how to sort them. And finally the two people you wanted to see more in this police station walked into the room. And you breathed a sigh of relief, the feeling only last a second as they started talking.

“(Y/N) we don’t have your file yet so why don’t you tell us what happened?”

“I don’t really remember I was at a holiday party and I was going home and gonna go to sleep and then next thing I know in a cop car. Covered in blood, and I’m not sure all of it is mine.” You explained anxiously.

“Ok (Y/N) I’m gonna go see if the captain has gotten you file yet. Hang tight ok?” After you gave T'Challa a nod he left the room so it was just you and Bucky.

“Do you want some water or something?” Bucky asked and you nodded. Bucky left the room knowing exactly what to get you. So he walked over to the break room and grabbed a hot coco it always calmed you down when you were getting too strung out. No one had made hot water seeing as how it was the middle of the night so he had too. It took him a little bit longer than expected to get everything done. He went back to the interrogation room only to find T'Challa with a file on one side of the table and you and your lawyer on the other. “What happened?”

~

“You’ve forgotten what I told you at the station that night.” Bucky’s voice was softer than it had been.

“A lot of words were exchanged that night you might need to be more specific.” You clipped but you were trying to think of what he was talking about but the only thing coming to mind was the hatred that came towards the end of the night.

“Are you going to give me anything? If you don’t do it for me do it for Ana May’s parents.

“I’ll tell them but if I tell you, you’re going to use it as my statement or whatever.”

“Yes because that’s my job (Y/N).” Bucky was getting impatient. Him calling you by your first name, and not your nickname or last name didn’t go unnoticed by you. “No.”

“No, what?”

“What I told you that night is still true no matter what it may seem like. So my answer is no, and I and I need you to please just tell me what happened and maybe I can get your sentence reduced or something.”

“Tell Ana May’s parents that I will tell them what happened but I won’t tell cop you.”

“(Y/N),” Bucky sounded exhausted.

“Bucky please don’t make me do this,” something about the way you said made him stop and look at, like really look at you and notice probably for the first time in a long time. He saw something in your eyes. So he nodded and got up and left.


	5. The Meeting

A week or two later you had visitors, specifically Ana May’s parents and you were so nervous, you hadn’t seen them in forever. You were unbelievably nervous because you weren’t sure how they would take the news, or how the would react to the story. You sat there waiting and they finally came in, sat down and gave you a sad smile which you returned. Honestly you were surprised they showed up. You had been convinced that they would never agree to see you after what you did. Hell you couldn’t even get your own parents to visit you. You spent a minute or so contemplating small talk but decided against it. And you launched into the story. You watched their faces have a whole range of emotions that you tried not to focus on them and focus on the story instead or you would have never finish it. And when you was done you looked into Mrs. Chavez’s eyes and waited.

“Have you told anyone else?” She asked you could hear the lump that sat in her throat. It was very clear in her voice that she was about to cry.

“Yes,” you nod. “I’ve told my lawyer and my mom.”

You had told Mr. and Mrs. Chavez the story, but not the whole thing, only the parts that you could stand to stand to tell them and what they needed to hear.

“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” Mr. Chavez wondered out loud.

“I didn’t want people thinking of Ana like that.” You answer truthfully.

“What about what people think of you?” Mrs. Chavez looked at you tears running down her face.

“I can take it.” The fact that Mrs. Chavez was crying was prompting you to cry. “Besides, it’s not as if I know what people are saying. I don’t have much contact with the outside world. Hell I don’t even have twitter anymore.” You smile trying to lighten the mood.

“(Y/N),” Mr. Chavez grabs your hand and forces you to look at him. “You were Ana May’s best friend and I knew my daughter, she wouldn’t want you to live this way.”

“Visiting hours are over!” A guard yelled. The three of you rose from your seats and both of them gave you a hug.

It was the first time someone had hugged you in 10 months. You were so grateful for the human contact that you almost didn’t let go of Mrs. Chavez, the guard had to yell at you for touching too long. When you pulled back you saw her glaring at the guard ready to pounce but you stopped her, telling her it would cause more trouble than it was worth.

“When’s the last time you were hugged mi hija?” Mrs. Chavez looks at the tears in your eyes. “Has your mother come to see you? Have you been eating you don’t look good.”

You shake your head. And she clicks her tongue and hisses at you, which made you smile for a moment.

“You need to eat mi hija.” She scolds you.

“Ok, mama,” you always responded with the tone you always gave her when she would say something like this.

They said their final goodbyes and you went back to the rec area of the prison. Everyone was huddled around the tiny TV that was there watching the news with such intensity, you forgot your personal rule about watching the news. You stood there as the new anchor started talking about some police case that had been reopened. It took you less than three seconds to realize they were talking about you and your case.

“It is said that the case of the murders committed by (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has been reopened. For some unknown reason. For those who need a refresher (Y/L/N) committed the murders of three boys last December.” The girl on the TV spoke and your eyes widened and you froze. All eyes were now on you. “She plead guilty so it was an open and closed case. Now we are getting reports that detectives are going in to the prison that she is being held. When we tried to speak to Captain Steve Rogers about it he gave no comment.”

The news faded into the background as everyone around you continued to look at you in shock. You had been able to keep the details of why you were here secret, people had assumed that you had done something bad but not a triple homicide. You suddenly felt claustrophobic and all the inmates were closing around you. You spun around and ran down the hallway. You could faintly hear someone tell you ‘no running’ but it sounded miles away. You made it back to your cell where Jamison was sitting there reading a newspaper.

“Dude, you good?” Jamison peaked over the top of the paper.

You barely nodded.

“Ok,” she looks back at the paper squints for a second and walks over to you. “Is this you?”

You look at the paper which had your face and the story right there. “Yes.”

“So your case has been reopened?” She raises and eyebrow and you nod. “Well that’s great! Now you can get out of this hell hole.”

You just stare at her and she furrows her brow.

“You are planning to go through with this.” When you stay silent she tosses the paper at you. “Jesus fucking Christ (Y/L/N), you have the chance to get out of here. A chance that so many other people won’t ever get and you’re going to throw it away? Why?”

You look down at your feet.

“That wasn’t a rhetorical question.”

“What if it’s worse out there?” You whisper.

“What?”

“What if,” you speak up a little. “I get out. And then it’s worse out there and people keep bringing it up. I know that they hate me, but at least in here no one knows, or at least knew. And sure the guards were jerks about it but after a month or so they let up. But if I go out, it will be fresh all the time.”

“Is that why you were always bruised up?” She asks and you nod. “Can you tell me what happened?”

You look at her and you thought about it. “Not right now.”

“Ok tell me when you’re ready.” She smiled. “Look at that it’s dinner time and I’m fucking starving, let’s go.”

So now you had a new friend, and it made life in here a little more bearable. And at dinner you actually ate until you were full, in case Mrs. Chavez came back and wanted to yell at you more.


	6. Birthdays

Today was your birthday and the beginning of your 11th month but you weren’t focused on that. You were thinking about your last birthday and how if someone had come up to you and said that in just a month later your life would be completely different, you wouldn’t have thought that they’d meant this.

“Well this is going to be a bust.” Barnes sat in the chair directly across from you.

“James not today.” Udaku pleaded with Bucky.

“Well I’m just saying (Y/L/N) is not going to give us anything.” He stared directly at you obviously in a mood.

“Yeah well I could be thinking of some better things to do as well.” You sneered.

“Oh yeah like what?” Barnes mocked.

“Oh fuck off Oscar.” Without thinking you called him by his nickname and froze.

“Shall we move on?” T’Challa glared at both of you.

“I don’t understand why we’re here in the first place I specifically asked not to have this meeting today of all days.” George spoke bitterly.

“Well there’s not much we can do about that is there.” Bucky interjected.

Well there went the quiet birthday you were hoping for. So while you were sitting in purgatory, again, and George was arguing with T’Challa and Bucky, you let your mind wander to your last birthday.

“Surprise!” A group of your friends yelled as you walked through the door to your place.

“FUCK!” You scream and cower towards the door. “Holy shit you guys. Don’t do that!”

“HAha,” Ana May dances up to you and attacks you with a hug. “I thought for sure I was gonna spill but I didn’t.”

“You must be so proud of yourself.” You hug her back.

“I can hear the sarcasm in your voice and I don’t appreciate it.” She pulls away.

“Happy Birthday, lună.” Bucky comes over and kisses you.

“Ugh, you two are so gross.” Ana rolls her eyes and walks away.

“Why thank you detective.” You smirk when he breaks the kiss.

“Mm of course.” He beams down at you. “Now let’s go thank everyone for coming. And then I have something for you if you want it.”

“Of course I want it.” You say as he slips his hand into yours. You walked around the house with him and thanked everyone for coming after they wished you a happy birthday.

Once you were done Bucky pulled you towards the front yard despite your protests.

“Bucky, it’s fucking cold out here.” You whined but not too much because the Christmas lights that lined the street were making you unbelievably happy. “Why do we have to come out here?”

“Because I like being dramatic?” He says as if you should’ve already known, to be fair you should’ve.

He stands behind you and puts a necklace around your neck. The pendant is two metal plates one is engraved with a quote and the other has the compass rose cut out.

“For when you get lost.” He whispered into your ear.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)?” T’Challa’s voice called you out of your memory.

“Sorry what?” You look at the three men staring at you.

“We asked you if you knew what happened to the other bodies.” Bucky was standing at the end of the table next to George.

“Oh.” Was all you said.

“(Y/N),” George stared at you and you knew what he meant.

“They’re in the forest.” You said.

“We already found the bodies in the forest.” Barnes practically yells.

“Not those,” you match his volume. “The ones deeper in the forest. More west I think.”

“You think?” Buck shouts. “You think?! You killed them you should know!”

“That’s enough!” George stands glaring at Bucky. “I thought you were better than this.”

“Sorry to disappoint, dad.” Bucky says with disgust. He turns toward T’Challa, “I’ll wait for you outside.”

When he’s finally out of the room T’Challa looks at you.

“I am so sorry that happened, we can request someone new on your case.”

“Don’t.” You say.

“(Y/N),” George looks at you. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah you two are the only ones that I’ll tell.” You look at T’Challa.

“But will you?” He challenges.

“Next time.” You nod.

“When should next time be?”

“Not on my birthday.” You shrug.

“Oh shit,” T’Challa closes his eyes. “I knew there was something about this date. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.” Bitterness slips into your voice slightly even though T’Challa had been nothing but kind.

“We’ll come back in a week?” He asks and you nod. He smiles and gets up and walks out of the room leaving you and George in silence.

“So,” George finally breaks it. “You’re telling them?”

“Yeah someone finally talked some sense into me.” You say.

Later that day you were laying in your bunk talking to Jamison.

“So how did the meeting go today?” She asks from her bunk.

“Fine, one of the detectives yelled at me again.” You whisper.

It was technically after lights out so you weren’t supposed to talk but anytime you reminded her of that she would respond with ‘fuck the police’ which may have something to do with why she got arrested.

“God, get a new detective he sounds like the absolute worst.” She whispers back.

“He’s not.” You defend him. “He just angry at me.”

“Why?”

“He’s my boyfriend.” You say.

Jamison stands to look at you on the top bunk. “What?” She yells.

“Inmates!” A guard yells. “It’s past lights out!”

“Oh bite me Fred!” She yells.

“Inmate I’m warning you!” He yells back.

“Whatcha gonna do? Throw me in jail?” She taunts.

“Last chance or you get solitaire for a week.” He yelled back and Jamison retreated back to her bunk.

“I hate it when they play the solitaire card.” She whispers. “He’s your boyfriend?”

“Well ex-boyfriend I guess. I’m not sure we never actually officially broke up. I can’t expect him to not see other people.”

“How hot is he?”

“Oh my god so hot.” You smile indulging in the girl talk. “What’s even more infuriating is his partner is just as hot, probably even hotter.”

“Damn, can they reopen my case?” She jokes making you laugh.

“Well he hates me now so sure take them.” You whisper after a minute but she’s already snoring.

/

Early the next day day at the precinct T’Challa and Bucky were talking.

“Alright we have new evidence from the labs,” Captain Rogers drops a file on Bucky’s desk.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“Ya know Barnes, you don’t have to do this.” Rogers told him.

“Well actually figuring out what happened that night will help me become a sergeant.” Bucky looks up at Rogers.

“Or this could hinder those chances.” Rogers reminded him.

“But she confessed to it.” T’Challa interjects. “It was open and closed.”

“See I’m not so sure.” Bucky looks down at his drawer that held something that he’s been keeping in there for a year.

“Ok well you know her best. I just hope this isn’t a waste of your time.” Rogers gives him a pointed look.

“Yes sir.” Bucky nods opening up the file. He starts reading it very carefully. “Holy shit.”

“What?” T’Challa walks over and reads over his shoulder.

“According to Banner and Stark, the injuries on the bodies of the boys was from someone who was an experienced fighter. (Y/N) only started taking MMA classes after-, oh my god.”

“What?”

“I think I know what happened.” Bucky looks at T’Challa.


	7. Witnesses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I posted the wrong one earlier

Bucky sat at his desk tossing a small object in between his hands that could be mistaken as a ball. He stared at the screen of his computer. He was deep in thought and T’Challa could tell because he had tried getting his attention like 5 times to no avail.

“Let’s go to the forest,” Bucky said standing abruptly throwing the object into his desk drawer, T’Challa got up and followed him out of the precinct.

They stood at the place where the first three bodies had been found. They had yet to find the other ones and Bucky was getting impatient. He did that a lot, get impatient. But it had gotten more severe since you had told him that Ana May’s body was still somewhere in the forest. And it was getting worse with all the new discoveries that he was making with the case.

“So,” T’Challa squinted at his partner, despite it being December when it was usually cloudy and gloomy the sun was shining bright and he hadn’t brought his sunnies. “Where shall we start?”

“Well let’s start with why they are dead,” Bucky said.

“Ok well let’s say for argument's sake that Anderson, Miller, and Smith had provoked them and Ana and (Y/N) were acting out of self-defense.”

“Ok so if I’m Ana, you are the boys,” Bucky stands still and T’Challa walks over to where he is standing. “And you attack me.”

They do a mock fight and T’Challa walks to the other side of Bucky

“Then you kill me and knock out my friends where would you go?” T’Challa asks.

“Well if I was scared for my life and probably in shock,” Bucky looks at where the bodies had been pivots looking at the four different directions you and Ana could’ve gone. “I probably wouldn’t be thinking logically.”

“So?”

“So I would want to run away from the people who had just assaulted me,” He looks around him and points into the deepest part of the woods. “I’m betting they went that way.”

“Bucky,” T’Challa looked at him apprehensively.

“C’mon Udaku, you’re not afraid of the dark?” Bucky smiled.

“Fuck you, Barnes,” T’Challa spat and followed him into the woods.

They walked until it had gotten dark out. They hadn’t found anything yet.

“Goddamnit!” Bucky slammed his hand on the tree next to him.

T’Challa ignored this outburst and scanned his light across the forest floor then stopped.

“Bucky.” He whispered.

“What?” Bucky growled.

“Look.” T’Challa nodded his head toward the light that was cast on the ground.

“Holy shit.” Bucky looked at the two bodies that was mostly bones now. “Call it in.”

“Already on it,” T’Challa said pressing the button on his walkie-talkie.

Bucky and T’Challa didn’t move around much in fear they would destroy what little evidence remained. 30 minutes later the forensic team showed up and started ordering people around. They didn’t mind though, and Bucky was just excited to have more evidence to help you.

Despite what you thought, he didn’t hate you. He was just very bad at expressing his frustration so it came off as anger or hatred. But what he really wanted was to get you out of there, he had noticed how ghastly you looked. It seemed like you were constantly sick and not getting enough food.

When he talked to Mrs. Chavez she mentioned that you own mother hadn’t been in to see you and that broke his heart, he could only imagine how it felt for you. And then there he was seeing you all the time and treating you like shit, he was going to have to find a way to make it up to you. He was deep in thought when Bruce Banner’s voice pulled him out.

“Ok, so this skeleton looks like it belongs to a female in her mid to late 20s.” Banner said.

“That’s probably Ana’s.” T’Challa looks at Bucky.

“So that means that that one is either Tanner’s or Paul’s.” He observes.

“It appears that the male died from repeated blunt force trauma. Focused mostly on the skull. We’ll know more when we take this back to the lab and examine the bones more carefully.” Stark told the detectives who thanked him for his time and walked back to the car.

When they got back to the precinct they sat at their desks across from each other and started talking.

“So what do you think really happened?” Bucky asks T’Challa tossing his object again.

“We’ll never know unless (Y/N) agrees to tell us what went down that night,” T’Challa says then looks at Bucky quizzically.

“What?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Did you say that (Y/N) said there were two males that had been missing?”

Bucky slams the black velvet box he used to keep his hands busy on his desk and calls the lab.

“Hello?” Stark answers sounding preoccupied,

“Have you IDed the set of male remains?” Bucky asks wasting no time.

“Not yet.” Stark response, his lack of urgency was infuriating to Bucky.

“Well, could you work on that first?” Bucky was trying his best to be nice but he could hear the venom in his voice.

“Well these things take time, we have to get a mockup of the face and then cross reference that with missing persons,” Stark says in his soothing voice. A voice that everyone in the precinct had heard before, and it worked on everyone except T’Challa and Bucky.

“Well, there’s only one of two people it could be. It’s either Tanner Williams or Paul Moore.” Bucky said and when Stark confirmed that he heard Bucky hung up. He wasn’t sure who he wanted it to be less.

“What exactly did (Y/N) say?” T’Challa sits on Bucky’s desk.

“She said that we were missing names never mentioned whether or not she killed them too.”

“So there’s a possibility that our missing guy is still alive,” T’Challa asks.

“There’s a possibility that we have a witness.”


	8. That Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Rape

“Ya know, we don’t like being lied to,” T’Challa said as if you had never met him before.

“What do you mean?” You ask looking at the two Detectives.

“There’s no way you could’ve taken on three full-grown men by yourself, Ana May, probably. But you don’t like violence.” Bucky said tapping his pencil.

“And?”

“You told us that you killed them all.” T’Challa cocks his head. “Besides you said you would tell us what happened that night.”

The tapping of Bucky’s pencil was driving you up the fucking wall.

“Can you not?” You look at him and he stops.

“I wouldn’t be tapping if I was writing and I’d be writing if you would tell us something.” Bucky points out.

“Ok.” You sigh.

~

You and Ana May were walking down the street. It was the 22nd of December and everyone and their mother had decided to throw a holiday party that night. So like good friends you were the two of you were party hopping hoping to make all of them. You were outside Janice Harris’ house. You almost wanted to tell Ana May that you wanted to go home because you were too tired but you could handle one more party.

“So this is the last stop of the night.” Ana smiled at you. “Who’s designated driver tonight?”

“We are using Uber. Besides we can’t get too smashed tonight, we have that meeting tomorrow morning.” You remind her.

“Can we get a little drunk?” She gave you her best puppy eyes.

“Yes, we can get a little drunk.” You compromise.

“Good,” Ana says walking into the house.

“I wish I had stopped her. I wish I had said I was too tired to go to this party anything. But I didn’t.” You interrupt your own story.

You and Ana were in the kitchen grabbing some water when someone suggested a snowball fight and you looked at Ana wide-eyed. She sighed silently agreeing to go out and play with you. The two of you were slightly more drunk than you had planned on getting that night but that wasn’t going to stop you from crushing people at a snowball fight.

They were picking teams when you felt someone tap on your shoulder. You turn around to find someone you hadn’t seen since high school.

“Paul Moore?” You slap Ana’s arm. “May look it’s Paul Moore.”

“Holy shit!” She turned looking at him. “Damn you got hot.”

“Oh hi, guys.” He smiled and blushed.

“So Paul are you going to introduce us to your friends?” One of Paul’s friends who looked familiar.

“Oh yeah sorry this is Tanner Williams, and this is Michael Anderson and Jack Miller, whom you probably remember from high school. And Alec should be around here somewhere.” He says and you nod and greet them. “So do you guys wanna team up.”

Suddenly a snowball hits him in the chest. Then Ana yells “Teams are for suckers, you’re on your own.”

And then you were in the middle of a snowball fight with Paul and his friends. After a few minutes, it was just you, Ana May, and Paul and his friends. You were so caught up in the game you had somehow made it into the forest not too deep because you could still see the house.

You couldn’t run anymore so you leaned on a nearby tree for support. And Paul came up to you laughing. You had lost track of Ana but she would find you, she always did.

“Tired already?” He joked, with a lot more confidence than earlier that night.

“Just a lot.” You say and he kisses you and you instantly pull away. “Dude, what the hell?”

“Oh come on.” He grins with mischief in his eyes and it scares you.

~

You stopped. You couldn’t take your eyes off the table.

“Well, then Paul and Jack-” you started but you couldn’t bring yourself to say the word.

You heard a pencil snap and it made you jump. You look up to see Bucky fuming.

“You don’t have to continue.” Bucky’s soft calm voice did not match his rage-filled face.

“You have to know the whole story.”

“You can skip over that part.” George whispers but everyone heard and you nod.

~

There you were lying face down on the ground tears tickling your face before falling onto the snow. You heard footsteps walking towards you and you wanted to get up and run but you couldn’t find the strength.

“(Y/N),” Ana May’s face was down next to yours, now your tears were from relief. “C’mon love get up.”

She helps you up and pulls up your pants as you take in the scene around you. There lying in pools of blood that stained the fresh white snow laid the bodies of the boys who ten minutes ago you were laughing with.

“What happened?” You really look at Ana May for the first time and notice she was covered in blood. “Oh my god are you ok?”

“It’s not mine.” Is all she says. “Come one we have to run.”

She grabs your hand and for leads you deeper into the forest.

“Ana,” you say after running for longer than you can bear. “Ana, can we pause?”

You let go of her hand and slow down to a stop. You bend over and place your hands on your knees, your mouth was dry and you look at Ana who was looking back at you worried.

“Oh my god,” she breathed.

“What?”

“I just killed those boys,” she sobbed. “What did I do? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

It was your turn to help her.

“Ana May Chavez,” you place your hands on her shoulders and look her dead in the eye. “Breathe, ok, I will fix this.”

“How?” She asks through the tears.

“I did it. I killed them.” You say completely sure that this will work.

“You only just started taking MMA, no one will believe you.” She had calmed down a bit but she still had tears rolling down her cheeks.

“It will.” You nod.

~

“And Ana must have only knocked two of them out because Paul and Tanner suck up behind us. Paul grabbed me and held me while Tanner started beating Ana. And she must have been fatigued or something because I know she can fight back. But somehow I got free.”

~

You saw a big branch not far from you if you got free you could use that. So you elbowed Paul in the stomach as hard as you could and his grip loosened for just a second. Which was all you needed to duck and grab the branch. When he regained himself he lunged towards you and you whacked him on the side.

You rushed over to aid Ana who was being beaten really badly.

“That’s when I blacked out and I can’t remember what happened until I heard Ana call my name.”

“(Y/N)!” You turn to see Ana May laying in the snow blood everywhere. You rush over to her and pull her upper body into your lap.

“Ana, hold on we’ll get out of this.”

“I’m not gonna make it. I’m sorry.” Her breath was ragged and strained.

“You will if you shut up and save your strength.” You watched your tears fall on her face. She fumbled for your hand, once you realized what was happening you grabbed her hand which was cold.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

“But you did. I’m the one that couldn’t save you.” You sob. “Please stay alive.”

“Don’t do anything,” she took a deep breath. “Stupid.”

“I won’t if you don’t.” You tell her and she smiles.

You hear the last bit of air leave her lungs and she goes limp in your arms.

~

“So how did you get out of the woods?” Bucky asks.

“That I don’t know either, I was in a daze after my best friend died in my arms. I thought I would get help. But no one listened to me.” You look at them. “They were more focused on the bodies the found.”

“Ok, but how did Ana May fight off 5 fully grown men?” T’Challa wondered.

“I’m assuming she knocked out Tanner and Paul first and then the other ones tried to fight her but she was ready for it. But how would I know?” You were being a little mean but you had also wondered that but Ana was a force to be reckoned with so even though you weren’t sure how you knew she would’ve found a way to do it. “I am sure that she knocked a lot of people out that night.”

“Well, there’s no other logical explanation for it,” T’Challa said.

You, Bucky, and George all shook your heads unsure then speak at the same time, “You never saw Ana May when she was being protective.”

“Could she really do that?” T’Challa asks and you all nod your heads. “Damn.”

“Ok back to business. (Y/N), we have some more questions for you.” Bucky looks back to you.

“Ok, I’m ready to answer.” You say and he gives you a small smile.

/

“We should’ve told her.” Bucky looks at his partner once they got in the car.

“We don’t even know which one it is.” T’Challa reminded him. “We’ll tell her once we know for sure.”

“What if it’s-”

“Stop it won’t be,” T’Challa tells Bucky but he’s not quite sure himself.

Bucky didn’t say anything but he didn’t believe T’Challa, he wanted to. But something in his gut was telling him that he shouldn’t.


	9. Hope

6 months after you were sent to jail.

Bucky sat there, staring at his plate. Forks clinking against plates were the only sound that could be heard in the room. He could feel the stares that his parents were giving him. This had been going on for months him coming over for dinner and them not talking.

“Jesus,” Bucky whispered to himself. Then looks at his parents, “What is it this time?”

“Just talk to her!” Winnie said and George rolled his eyes knowing where this was going.

“Mom!”

“Well, I’m just saying that I can see that you miss her and I know she misses you.” She shrugs.

“Mom, she killed people and even if I could visit her-” he lets his sentence trail off.

“So you’re just going to leave her in the past without looking back?” Winnie slammed her fork down on her plate.

“Winifred,” George warned her.

“Ya know mom, I thought that my own mother wouldn’t give me shit about being upset with someone who killed people.” Bucky leans his elbows on the table.

“Elbows off the table.” She says in her scary mom voice.

Bucky takes his elbows off the table and leans back in his chair.

“Besides you don’t know what happened that night.” She grabs her plate and leaves the table.

“Oh, and you do?” Bucky calls after her. She turns around mouth open ready to speak but catches a glimpse of her husband shaking his head no and turns back to the kitchen.

“Dad, do you want to say anything?” Bucky turns to his father.

“I’m only going to say that maybe you should take another look at her case, you might have missed something.” He smiles sadly and leaves the dining room.

“What does that even mean?” Bucky calls after him. But his father didn’t answer him.

The next day Bucky was in the case file room at work. He found your case and took it back to his desk and started reading. The more he read the more questions he had and the more he wanted answers. Like how does someone like you go from just party hoping to murdering three people?

“Captain!” Bucky jumps up when he sees Rogers walk in the door.

“I have seen your application for Sargent and there’s nothing else I can do.” Rogers sounded tired.

“No, that’s actually not what I wanted to talk to you about.” Bucky followed Rogers to his office. “I want to re-open the (Y/L/N) case.”

Steve stopped what he was doing and stared at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“You just sent in your application for Sargent. And you want to open up a case that has already been closed and gone to court? Are you out of your mind?”

“There are questions that need to be answered and no one has bothered to look for them.”

“Jesus Christ Bucky.” Steve ran his hands through his hair. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“Yes.” He answers without hesitation.

“You realize that if this goes badly, it will affect your application?”

“Yes.”

“Detective Barnes, is she really worth all this trouble?” Steve looked at him.

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate even as he thought about the ring that he had in his desk drawer. “She is.”

“Alright well, this is gonna be fun,” Steve says sarcastically.

“Thank you, sir.” Bucky smiles.

“Don’t thank me this is your doing have fun,” Steve says as Bucky walks out the door.

Bucky walks back to his desk and fills T’Challa in.

“Bucky this isn’t going to be great,” T’Challa says.

“Well, we have to.” Bucky shrugs.

“Why?”

“I just have a feeling we aren’t getting the whole story.” Just then two people walk into the precinct. “The Chavez’s are here.”

“Do you want to or do you want me to?” T’Challa looks at the couple.

“I will.” Bucky gets up from his chair and walks over to the parents of his friend to tell them what he had to tell them every time they came in. It never got easier, over the months they started to know what to expect.

Only now after they had found Ana May’s body they had to call in her parents.

Bucky found himself in the precinct sitting across from Mr. and Mrs. Chavez. Only this time he could tell them that they had found their daughter. Bucky was taking this harder than her parents were.

/

“I’m sorry what?” You look at George sitting across from you.

“Your case is going back to court because of recent evidence.” He smiles.

“What are my chances on getting out of here?” You ask trying not to get your hopes up.

He only smiles at you.

“Holy shit. That good?” You whisper. “So I could ya know, get out of here and live a life?”

“Yeah I mean you might have to deal with some repercussions but it was self-defense.” He shrugs.

“Ok, but what are the chances that I don’t get out of here?” You remind yourself that there is still a very real chance that you could be stuck in jail.

“Well, what’s basically happening is you are going plead not guilty, so they aren’t adding any new charges so you are being retried for the same crimes. A triple homicide. So it’s unlikely that you won’t get out.”

You sat back in your chair and stared at your lawyer wide-eyed. This is the first time in months that you had even thought about getting out of here.

“When’s the date?” You ask.

“Well we’ll see if we have a case tomorrow, but if we do the court dates will be set for next Friday, so, for now, we have to go over what to do and how to make sure that the jury votes in your favor.”

“Ok, how long do you think it will take?” You didn’t really want a long drawn out trial.

“Well I’m not sure, it could take like a few days or a few months.” He smiles. “Ok well I will see you later and we’ll go over the details later.

You were lead back to your cell and Jamison was sitting there smiling.

“What’s up with you?” You ask.

“I’m getting out.” She tells you and then stands up. “But what about you have you heard anything?”

“Now it’s not for sure and I’m trying not to get my hopes up. But that’s hard when your lawyer says that he thinks there was a pretty good chance of getting out of here.”

“Well, I think you will. Come on let’s go get dinner.” She smiles and puts her arm around your shoulders.


	10. Courtroom

You were sitting in the courtroom terrified. The prosecution had done their opening statements. You turn your head to look at the other set of lawyers. One of them looked over at you and snarled you whipped your head forward.

Breath (Y/N). The worst they can do is say no at this point...

You lean over to George. “I don’t think this will work.”

“Hush we haven’t even done our opening statement,” he whispers back.

“Yeah but-”

“(Y/N), it will be fine, just keep breathing and let it run its course. I’ll let you know when we’re in trouble.” He raises his eyebrows at you.

You only nod in response. You focus on your breathing as George walks up and faces the jury.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, people of the jury. Now I’m aware that you have probably heard of what happened a year ago, what (Y/N) did. And you’re probably wondering why we’re here again. Didn’t we already convict her? Wasn’t she found guilty of manslaughter?” George looked very calm and very likable.

You glance at the jury to see them nodding and sneaking a peek at you. They don’t make a visible face but their eyes tell you that they already had their preconceived judgment about you. So you would just have to change their mind, that wouldn’t be too hard.

“Well kind of she pleaded guilty, but new evidence has come to light and she and I would like to set the record straight.”

Even though I’m not, Ayoo. You struggle to keep a neutral face because this was not the place or time. You reminded yourself that if the jury saw you laughing they would think that you weren’t taking this seriously and that you weren’t being sincere.

George came back and sat next to you. Mr. Walker who looked about 45 walked in front of his table.

“I would like to call Detective James Barnes to the stand,” he says.

You watch carefully as Bucky walks up to the stand. He gets sworn in and Mr. Clark starts questioning him.

“So Mr. Barnes,” Mr. Clark pauses and looks behind him to George. “Any relation to George Barnes or is that just a crazy coincidence?”

“I don’t see what that has to do with the case?” Bucky furrows his brows.

“You’re right. Moving on, so if I recall it was your captain that pushed to have the case reopened. Is that right?” Mr. Clark had a smile on his face that was meant to be sweet but it looked evil.

“Yeah well, we had reason to believe that we were missing evidence.”

“Oh but you only learned about the other bodies two months ago. The case was reopened 6 months ago. So what prompted that?”

“As I said, we had reason to believe we didn’t have all the evidence,” Bucky says pointedly.

“How did you get that reason?” Mr. Clark pushes.

“An anonymous tip.” You were surprised at how well Bucky was keeping it together.

“Ok, so you got an anonymous tip and opened the case again. So what you spent 4 months fooling around until you went to the jail to question (Y/N)?”

“Objection your honor!” George stands. “Badgering!”

“Sustained. Mr. Clark.” The judge warned.

Mr. Clark moves on quickly, asking about the case and the evidence that they had uncovered.

“No further questions your honor.” Mr. Clark goes back to his seat.

“What about you Mr. Barnes any questions?” The judge asks.

“Not at this time your honor.”

“Ok moving on. Mr. Barnes do you have any witnesses?” The judge looks through her paperwork.

George looks at you and you nod. “Yes. I would like to call (Y/F/N) to the stand.”

You walk up to the stand and get sworn in.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), last time you were here you confessed to three murders.”

“Objection your honor! That didn’t sound like a question.” Mr. Clark stands up.

“Sustained.”

“Ok,” George tries again. “Is it true that you confessed to the three murders.”

“No.” You say.

“But we have it on record?” George was careful to make it sound like a question.

“I never actually confessed I just didn’t object and it wasn’t murder, it was manslaughter.”

“Right sorry,” George smiles. “So do you believe that you are guilty of those three homicides?”

“Objection! Calls for speculation!”

“Overruled.” The judge sounds tired. “Answer the question please.”

“No.” You never take your eyes off George.

“So if you didn’t kill them who did?”

“Objection!” Mr. Clark jumps up once again.

“Mr. Clark, how are we going to get through this trial if you object every question that is asked?” Judge Nancy stared at him. “Sustained, he has a point, George.”

“Fine, why don’t you tell us what you remember happening.”

Mr. Clark was about to stand again when Nancy banged her gavel making you jump. “Mr. Clark sit down. Now, (Y/N) please go on.”

You tell them your story of what happened that night, George had told you at one point to mostly talk to him but every once in a while talk to the jury. So you did, you even said the word you had been avoiding, you glance at where Bucky had been sitting only to find that he was no longer there. It was just T’Challa sitting there being supportive. When you got to what happened in the forest you could hear gasps throughout the courtroom.

George asks you a few more questions after you had finished then it was Mr. Clark’s turn.

“So (Y/N) you lied last time you were on the stand? Did you know that perjury is 5 years in prison?” Mr. Clark walks closer to you.

“Objection, compound question.” George calls.

“Sustained,” Nancy says, the longer this trial went on the more you saw that she did not like Mr. Clark.

“Ok fine. So what were you wearing that night?” Mr. Clark asks stunning you.

“Excuse me?”

“Well, how can we know that you weren’t asking for it if we don’t know what you were wearing?”

“Your honor!” George’s voice was distant.

“You said you and your friend had been drinking,” Mr. Clark was advancing towards you. “If you were drinking how do we know that you remember it differently? How do we know that you didn’t beg for it turn around and change your mind and now using it to get out of murder sentence?”

“Mr. Clark!” Judge Nancy bellows slamming her gavel. “That is enough.”

Mr. Clark doesn’t say anything as he stares down the Judge. It was

You look over to George and behind him sits Bucky who was shaking with rage and had turned red. You sat there shocked for a moment until you were excused to go back to your seat.

“Let’s take a 20-minute recess.” Nancy got up from her place and walked out of the courtroom.


	11. The Witness

That recess was the longest 20 minutes, and you realized that Mr. Clark was in such a bad mood because the Judge was a woman; and a young one at that. He was mad because she was shutting down all of his main points. You knew that if this had been a male judge all of his questions would have slid, but he was being shut down. 

And you weren’t even done on the stand yet. You walked back to the stand when the recess ended and sat down. Mr. Clark returned to his position right in front of you.

“So (Y/N), why did you lie when you were asked if you were guilty or not why did you lie?” Mr. Clark asked.

“Because I knew that if I had told the truth the first time I would’ve gotten the same questions you asked me 30 minutes ago only I would have believed you when you said that it was how I was dressed or that I was too drunk to say no. I knew that no matter what I said people like you would twist everything that happened to me that night and I might start to believe it,” you say unsure of where the courage to say that came from.

“You still killed multiple people,” Mr. Clark spat.

“Only two and that was self-defense.”

“Let the court decide that,” he says turning his back towards you.

“And yet you’ve already decided that the rape was my fault.” You glare at him ignore Georges warning looks.

“No further questions at this time,” Mr. Clark said.

You didn’t need to be sitting next to George to know what he wanted to say to you. He would say ‘(Y/N) what are you doing? Now is not the time for witty remarks’ but he also knows that you can’t help it.

“Alright well, Ms. (Y/L/N) you’re done on the stand thank you. Alright well, we’ll finish this up tomorrow.” Nancy sounded so tired.

You were revealed to be off the stand no longer being questioned by the asshole that is Mr. Clark. But tomorrow is a new day with new horrors you couldn’t even imagine.

/

“Are you nervous?” Jamison asked taking another bite of her dinner.

“No,” you lie.

Tomorrow would be the closing statements and then the jury would decide and you were scared out of your mind.

“What are you nervous about?” She asks.

“Everything,” you answer, “what if I lose my case and stay here for the rest of my life? What if I win?”

“What’s wrong with winning?” Jamison asked rightfully confused.

“If I win I have to go home,” you sigh realizing how this sounded. “I will have to re-enter the world, and I’m aware of how they see me. A homicidal maniac.What if I can’t get a job? What if I can but it’s the worst job ever but I can’t leave because they are the only people who will hire me? What if I’m forced to live with my parents for the rest of-”

“Okay, woah there,” Jamison interrupts you. “You’re right some of those things could happen, but they could not. There’s always another job, you could become a stripper I’ve heard that most of them have fun and like it when they've entered into that job of their own free will. Living with your parents when you first get out won’t be the worst thing in the world. And you can always live with your boyfriend.”

“Jamison, he’s not my boyfriend and he probably hates me,” you tell her.

“I don’t think he does.” She tilts her head and gets up from the table.

/

You were standing in the courtroom during the 5-minute recess the judge called for. Apparently, the prosecution had a witness that would help with their case. Judge Nancy was not excited about putting this off anymore but she did anyway. You were standing in front of Bucky with the half wall separating the two of you. The court doors opened and you glanced at whoever was entering.

You watched in disbelief as he walked up the aisle.

_ There was no way. No way. Was there? No, I saw all the blood. No one bleeds that much and just walks away. . .Do they? _

But there he was in the light of day, standing, breathing. Proving that you had in fact not killed him.

Suddenly the room felt like it was closing in around you, you felt a tightness in your chest that made it hard to breathe. It almost felt like if it got any tighter your heart would stop beating. You scrambled to find something, anything, to ground you but it was as if you had been put in an empty room with just you and  _ him. _

A hand grabbed yours, you looked at the owner of the hand. Bucky stood there concern all over his face.

“What is it?” He asked his voice muffled.

“That’s  _ him.  _ That’s Paul Moore,” your voice was shaky and barely audible.

“As is-”

“Yes Bucky,” you say in between labored breaths trying not to look at Paul in fear you would fall apart even more.

“Ok, should we go?” He asks.

“You and I both know that’s not an option,” you whisper. Then you look at Bucky, realizing he’s not as surprised as he ought to be. “Did you know?”

“Know what?” Bucky asked stroking your arm.

“DId you know that he was still walking around?” You ask through gritted teeth.

“I knew a body was missing but I didn’t know he was walking around,” he whispers and you yank your arm away from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“(Y/N)-”

“No don’t pull that shit with me. You should’ve told me.” With that, you turn and sit back down in your seat.

A minute later the recess was over and court was back in session. You sat there and you could feel someone staring at you. You turned to see Bucky but when he turned his head to meet your eyes you knew it wasn’t him. There was only one other person you thought it could be and you were still trying to avoid looking at him. You were no longer focused on the trial instead you were focused on not falling apart.

You must have sat there for a while because when George nudges you Paul is taking the stand.

“Why is he taking the stand?” You ask under your breath.

“I think they think he’s going to help their case,” he whispers back.

“Will he?”

“Not if I can help it.”

Mr. Clark questioned Paul and asked him about what he went to school for and what he was doing now, basically treating him like a human being. Then they brought up the fact that your beating had set back his life and now was dealing with emotional stress. Basically making him look like the victim here, which you knew they would do, this was why you had pleaded guilty in the first place; if you didn’t have to go to court you didn’t have to have your abuser painted as the victim in front of you.

When it was George’s turn to question Mr. Clark looked smug like he expected George to be unprepared for anything.

“Paul is it?” George starts with a friendly demeanor.

“Yes sir,” Paul half smiles making your stomach queasy.

“Now you said that you were having emotional distress because of that night.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Huh,” George grunts scratching his beard. “So let me get this straight. You attacked two females and they tried to defend themselves and you’re the one who walked away with emotional distress?”

“I was almost beaten to death,” Paul states.

“And (Y/N) went to jail, everyone has consequences for their actions.” George stares him down making him squirm. “No further questions your honor.”

Paul left the stand and when he walked by you he gave you a wink that gave you chills running down your spine and the taste of bile in your mouth. You were frozen in your seat, you weren’t paying attention to the closing statements or to the fact that the jury would be deciding what was happening.

No. None of that mattered anymore. Because what was at the forefront of your mind was the fact that Paul was alive and well and walking around. You spent months comforting yourself with the knowledge that he was dead, that they all were. But here one of them was trying to keep you in jail.

“(Y/N),” George nudged you bringing you back to reality, “the jury is back with their decision.”


	12. The Verdict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry if the grammar is terrible i wrote this like two years ago

You gave George a confused look. 

“What did they just say?” You meant to whisper but you said it a bit louder than you meant.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) you have been cleared of all charges-,” Judge Nancy smiles, “-you are free to go.”

You turn around and make eye contact with Bucky, your previous anger melted away. The feeling you had could only be described as bliss. But this bliss only lasted for a second. You look around the courtroom and don’t see him. 

“Bucky,” you say looking back to him.

He looks around and instantly knows what you’re worried about.

“I’ll find him,” he says rushing out of the room with T’Challa.

“George?” You turn to your lawyer. “What do I do now?”

“About what?” He asks.

“Everything.”

“Well let James and T’Challa take care of Paul and you can live with me or your parents until you get back on your feet. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to find a job because the charges have been dropped.” He smiled solemnly. “There is another thing you can do. You could press charges and sue Paul Moore.”

“I don’t know George I don’t want to see him ever again,” you say.

“That’s fair but you also have to keep in mind that he’s capable of doing it again,” George tells you.

“I’ll think about it.” You pause. “What happens now?”

/

“So you’re leaving me,” Jamison leans on your bunk smiling at you.

“I guess so,” you smile back at her. “But you’re getting out of here soon right?”

“Well not as quickly as you,” she says wrapping her arms around you. “As happy as I am for you I’m going to miss bunking with you. I’m really glad you won your case.”

“Me too.” You hug her back. “If you can contact me when you get out.”

“You’ve got it,” she says not letting you go.

“Inmate lets go! Unless you wanna stay another night.” Fred waits impatiently at the door of your cell.

“Oh Fred I’ll miss you too,” you say letting go of Jamison and grabbing your stuff.

He rolls his eyes and you follow him as he leads you through the prison out to the pickup zone. You tried not to pay much attention to the other prisoners, but that proved harder when they started applauding you and cheering. 

It started to bring tears to your eyes.

“Alright, inmates keep it down!” Fred yells.

“Killjoy,” you heard someone mumble.

When you finally get outside there stands your mom and for the first time in a year, you hug your mother. You were so overwhelmed with so many different emotions you weren’t sure what to do with yourself.

/

Bucky sat there on your porch waiting. Today was the day you came home. You were going to live with your parent. At least that was your plan for the time being. He was hoping to change that.

His pocket suddenly felt heavy with the weight of the thing that had been hiding in his desk drawer for a year. Now that he knew he was going to use it he was incredibly nervous. 

You were supposed to arrive at any moment so Bucky sat there biting his nails. Once your mom’s car pulled up he stood up and smiled. You got out and you were dressed in street clothes. It’d been so long since he’s seen you out of the jumpsuit. 

He watched you walk up the driveway and he had to physically stop himself from running up to you and throwing his arms around you. But you had no problem doing what he was afraid to do, next thing he knew you were practically jumping into his arms. He held onto you tight and nestled his face into your neck.

“Damn BUcky,” you say as he continues to squeeze, “are you trying to squeeze me to death?”

“Sorry.” He abruptly let's go but you continue to hold on to him.

“Bucky I have had like one hug for the past year, I don’t care.” He returns to squeezing you and the two of you stand there for what could’ve been forever.

“I have a question for you,” he blurts.

“A right now question or a question that can wait I’m just letting you know that I need to talk to you?” You ask finally pulling away. “Because I am so tired and am looking forward to sleeping in an actual bed with a real door.”

“It can wait,” he says letting you go.

“Thanks, I’ll text you later. Fuck!” You yell scaring Bucky. “I don’t have a fucking phone.”

“Don’t worry sweetie I’ll get you one,” your mom says walking by kissing your cheek.

“How long have you been standing there?” You ask watcher her walk to the car. “Ok bye mom?”

“(Y/N)-” bucky calls your attention back to him, “-I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Ok.” You smile and walk into the house.

He stood there staring at the door. 

“Bucky?” You stick your head back outside the door.

“Yes?” He turns around unable to stop himself from being hopeful.

You just stare at him smiling.

“(Y/N) what is it?” He asks laughing.

“What does this mean for us?” You walk back out the door to stand right in front of him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are we going to start dating again? We are different people than we were a year ago. I did lie to you for most of that and made your father lie to you-” you begin.

“(Y/N) I don’t blame you for lying to me. So let’s go out on a date.” He offers.

“Are you sure you want to date someone who still lives with their parents?” You joke. “Because what if the date goes well, we can’t go back to my place.”

“Just will you go on a date with me?” His smile is so bright and lovely you can’t help but smile too.

“Of course I will,” you say. “Oh, can we go to that one place-”

“I already know where I’m taking you. Does tomorrow work for you or do you have plans?” He teases.

“Ya know I think I have another date with someone else.” You place your finger on your chin. 

“Wow,” Bucky laughs.

“Oh no that’s next week so yeah tomorrow works.” You back up to the door not taking your eyes off him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walk back inside and Bucky walked away that day wondering when the right time would be.

But he would just have to wait to find out if that time would ever come.


	13. Back to Normal

None of your clothes fit you. 

They fit on your body but they don’t look like they did before prison. You stood in front of your closet in a dress that you weren’t sure you liked any more with half of your wardrobe still hanging up and the other half all over the floor.

“I should’ve gone shopping,” you whisper to yourself in a panic.

It also didn’t help that you were overwhelmed by how many options you had. Who needed this many items of clothing? After spending a year being forced to wear the same thing over and over again and basically becoming a cartoon character, transitioning back to picking out a different outfit every day.

Going shopping had never been one of your favorite things and prison certainly didn’t change that. But right now you had no time to go shopping and you were freaking out. Bucky was going to be here any minute and you were still not sure that you would find something to wear.

You see the dress you wore at your last birthday party and decided that that would have to do. 

Surprisingly when you put it on you were ok with how it looked. When you decided that what you were wearing would be good enough the doorbell rang.

“(Y/N)! Your date is here!” Your mom yells up the stairs.

“Thanks, mom be down in a second!” You yell back looking at yourself one more time in the mirror.

When you get downstairs Bucky is standing there in slacks and a blazer. He was smiling again, every time he smiled it seemed to be bigger than the last one.

“You look great,” he said offering you his arm.

You take it and he leads you out the door.

“Wait!” Your mom runs out of the house and wraps you in her arms. “Please come home tonight.”

“I will, I promise,” you whisper back.

It hadn’t occurred to you that the last time you went out you didn’t come back until a year later.

“I’ll take care of her I promise.” Bucky smiles and leads you to the car. 

He opens the door for you and then gets in himself.

“Ok, so where are we going you ask?” You ask.

“Ok, what’s one thing that you wished they had in prison. Today you get to go anywhere I can get you in this car,” he tells you, “so what will it be?”

“Buck, you’re going to hate me,” you grimace at him.

“If you say olive garden I swear to god,” he says.

“I’m sorry, but gotta get those unlimited breadsticks,” you say smiling.

“It’s a good thing I love you,” he says mindlessly.

You went silent. 

“Oh sorry, I shouldn’t have said that huh?”

“No I just-,” you stop unsure of how to put it, “- what if you don’t?”

“What?” He asks.

“What if you don’t actually love me?”

He doesn’t say anything more but he just looks at you for a second.

“I was in prison for a year and that changed me. What if you don’t like the person I’ve become? What if you expect me to do things and I just can’t. .”

“Woah, woah, woah, (Y/N), listen to me,” he puts his hand on yours. “We’ve been over this, we’re both different people and honestly I don’t think I couldn’t like you. I tried that, but then I reopened a closed case and ran the risk of not becoming Sargent. So if I don’t like you any more than that was a waste of time.”

You aren’t sure if he’s serious until he looks at you with a devious smile.

“I hate you,” you laugh.

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” you agree softly as you stare at him.

The rest of the drive was spent in a comfortable silence. You arrived at Olive Garden and he rushed over to your side of the car trying to make it there before you opened the door but he was too slow.

“Damn it just let me open the door for you!” He jokes.

“No,” you play along but there was also another reasoning you wanted to open your own door.

But you were trying not to think about that reason or any other thing that would remind you of how weird all of this felt. How odd it felt to be able to choose what you ate, the fact that everyone was a lot nicer than you were used to.

“So I’d like to make a toast,” Bucky raises his glass of wine and you followed suit, “to endless breadsticks, may they be bountiful and never let you down.”

“Here, here,” you clink your glass against his.

“I’m really happy that we get to have dinner again,” he says.

“Me too.”

“Even if it is here at the Olive Garden,” he winks.

The two of you go back and forth teasing each other throughout dinner and you would forget, forget everything. It was almost the perfect evening. Almost.

Until Bucky got a phone call. Any other guy this would be bothered by it but some things never change, like the fact that Buck only answered his phone if it was work.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky answers skipping over the small talk.

You couldn’t make out what the other person was saying on the other line.

“Woah T’Challa slow down who’s doing what?” Bucky asks getting up and taking a few steps away.

You watch him talk on the phone with T’Challa frantically pacing until he stopped and looked at you with wide fearful eyes. He spoke a few more words to T’Challa and then came back to the table.

“What is it?” You ask.

“We have to go,” he speaks trying to find your waitress.

“Why?” You push.

“Can I tell you in the car?” He pleads.

There was something in his voice that told you that this was not some that he should be pushed on. So once Bucky paid for the meal, you tried to help but you kept forgetting that you don’t have a credit card or anything. The two of you rushed out of the restaurant and Bucky sped off.

“Bucky I need you to tell me what’s going,” you say as calm as you could manage.

“Apparently Paul Moore got mixed up in a gang of some sort,” he says clenching his hands on the wheel even tighter.

“A gang?”

“Supposedly either way he’s got a vendetta against you, probably because you and Ana killed his friends and now he’s convinced his gang to. . . kill you or something,” he tells you.

“Why?”

“I don’t know but I will keep you safe, I promise.” He says and continues to drive.

He tells you about his plan to hide away with you somewhere where it would be hard for them to follow. While he talks you just stare out the front window. It astonished you how much just one asshole could ruin your life, you were just about to start building your life again. But that wouldn’t be happening because now you would have to go hide out in a cabin or something like that until Paul Moore was out of the picture.

It was right then and there that you realized that this would be the second time you leave your mother’s house and you wouldn’t be going home.

“Damn it,” you whisper.

“What?” He asks concerned.

“I broke my promise to my mom,” you say.


End file.
